Dear Jasmina

Dear Marie-Hélène,

As I write this, I am listening to Enya, which in your uncle’s and aunt’s book, is totally not cool. Nonetheless, it was the soundtrack to your birth, upon the nurses’s suggestion at our prenatal class. It has been a year since I listened to her music, and as it is with music, I can’t help feel a little moved. Enya became the calm prelude to a textbook delivery that sent tremors into our life, the aftershocks which we felt for a full six weeks, until, finally, things gradually settled into their newer, better form.

The other night as we lay in bed, your Papa and I were talking about something cute you had done that day. As your Papa is wont to do, he’ll remind me: “a year ago today, you were having your contractions at the hospital…” I’ve come to realize that I’m very grateful for having been able to give birth. And I mean it in the most sincere way… There was a moment, when you were coming through, that Christian offered to take my hand and have me touch your emerging head. That had been something else the nurse from the prenatal class had suggested, as we suppressed almost verbal “ewww”s. Strangely enough, the magic she talked about was true. When I was pregnant with you, you were an extension of my body, even if you were already you… with pretty hands and noticeable hair. When the cord was cut, I saw you as separate. But when I touched your head between my legs, it was the first time that I could feel you as a thing that was not my body. I’m pretty sure I cried at that moment.

Ma belle, you have brought so many happy moments to your Papa and I… Happy First Birthday!

1 year from Jacinta Palud on Vimeo.